This morning I sit in my favorite morning spot with my computer, bible, notebook and pen. The window is open and I can hear the birds singing. It is early but already Noel has left for work. I indulge myself with a homemade cafe mocha made of instant coffee and powdered chocolate. My thoughts go back to yesterday. It was my first day of meetings at my new school. I did not get up in time to sit in my quiet place and felt it all morning as I struggled to get to my meeting. Then all my petty struggles seemed insignificant as I learned about the medical team that was killed. At first, I wanted to compartmentalize it because it didn’t really affect me. I guess you could say it was a classic case of denial. My path did cross the paths of many of these people. One lived next door while house sitting for a family who is gone for the summer. Two others we met on our trip to Bamiyan. One was a videographer who took the time to talk and get to know David. Another was a doctor from England who had love for life and the people of Afghanistan. Even if you did not know them personally it does affect you. Anytime evil is at work, it affects all of us. How do I grieve? I am not sure the answer to that question. How do I explain this tragedy to my children? I am working on the answer to that one also.
My thoughts are also on school starting. What will my discipline plan look like? Can I be as tough as I need to be since I will mostly have boys in my classes? How do you make lesson plans for kids you have not even met yet? Will Winter find her place at this new school? Will she be okay being the only expat in her class? By looking at the master schedule, I figured out what classes Winter would be in. I think she likes knowing what class she will have. She is not so sure about having a speech class though. I wonder how as a family we can do this with God’s help. I am so thankful for our guard’s help each day with little things like helping get the kids to language class or getting me some groceries at the bazaar. I am thankful for my friends who emailed or called yesterday to see how my first day went. Most of all, I am thankful for a God who can use me; not because I am so strong but rather because I am not. – Teresa